I just found the one song that perfectly describes my life and hard times.

I got my AER scholarship stuff in the mail and sent in the acceptance last Monday. You know things are bad when they include an enclosure essentially saying "It's not just you, we reduced everyone's scholarship for budget reasons" inside the agreement. I'm really glad I've stayed at UGA instead of transferring to BYU or something like that, 'cause from the looks of it, my family's... going to need all the money I've helped saved, what with Caroline's college stuff probably running at about $13,000 a year. Ouch.

Anyway, I've been drawing a lot lately but most of my results are a little less than stellar. I enjoy paneling out pages, even if I never figure out any appropriate dialogue or a plot or anything like that. XD At least it's fun!

I'm still on a Sailor Moon kick but vehemently trying to deny it. ;_; I went to Amanda's last week, which was fun. We melted white chocolate bark and poured it over pretzels and had pizza and basically it was a good time (although I probably should've called to let my parents know I was staying so late). Cierra was there for a couple of hours. It was kind of funny, we didn't even put any movies in or anything, just talked. And made a game out of trying to catch a nickel.

I just watched La Strada and have been sobbing off and on for the last ten minutes.

When in the world did I grow up to be such a girl.

Everyone needs to see that movie. I've only cried during two other movies in my life that I remember (during Captains Courageous and during this '50's Japanese movie about a man dying of cancer-- ever since I saw that movie, I've been trying to track it down but to absolutely no avail) and... just oh, man. It's sad and horrible and beautiful (and it's why I'm depressed so don't worry about that!).

There are some job woes concerning my dad and stuff but hopefully things will work out. We took Chewbacca to the vet today to get his second round of shots; the poor thing was so scared he whimpered the whole time in his carrier while we were in the waiting room, until I felt so bad for him I let him out. He's doing all right. We met a dog that looked just like him... only about three times his size! XD And I drove back from the vet's today and even drove the van a little bit. I'm hoping to get more confident in my driving soon.

After we went to the vet's, me and my mom talked a lot and watched a lot of Forever Knight episodes on the bed. Or started to, anyway, I was feeling sort of lousy pretty quickly and ended up falling asleep through half of them. But I've seen most of them already, so no big loss, I guess. XD

My sister's on her senior trip; I called to tell her Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett had died (although it turned out she already knew it). Her response was: "The little children will sleep safely tonight."

... Yeah. Personally, I have always been far too fond of "Billie Jean" for my own good. It's going to be weird with him gone. I don't see any cool dance moves being on the rise to rival the moonwalk anytime too soon.

I got my silly clearfile and poster in the mail the other day. I really want to catalogue most of the junk I have if only I wouldn't feel like a freak afterwards. =(

Mama's finished reading Dracula and she says it's pretty good. I may try it since I haven't read anything that wasn't for class in what feels like forever. Caroline's going to freshman orientation today and tomorrow, which means it's going to be just me and Ellen at the house all day tomorrow. Well, me, Ellen, and the menagerie. Chewbacca was sick and went to the vet yesterday, but he's all right now!

I hung out at Cierra's grandmother's yesterday with Cierra and Amanda. It was nice-- we watched Valkyrie and ate copious amounts of food. I'd brought a pan of brownies (all but one was eaten), we went out and split the cost of a Papa John's pizza and pizza sticks ($18, and all but one piece of pizza was eaten-- the pizza sticks never had a chance), and then... drank a lot of water bottles. And I do mean a lot of water bottles.

But in slightly less important news ( XX chromosome not-woes, but still probably TMI )

Happy eighteenth birthday, Caroline! (Well, yesterday, anyway.) ♥ I got her a Sailor Jupiter gashapon and a pencilboard, along with some SM cards... and then I caved and gave her my Sailor Mars gashapon, too. She really seemed to like them! Maybe I can slowly get her the complete series, you think? Something like that... anyhow, she's downstairs with her best friend now, having a sleepover.

I went with my mom to do Visiting Teaching, since Pat couldn't do it. It was pretty nice and I enjoyed talking to the sisters, even if I did end up signed up to help Sister Acker clean house tomorrow. XD But I don't mind! I sort of enjoy service, it helps me feel better.

It's lightning pretty bad out, I... seriously doubt the connection will hold up so I'll keep this pretty quick. I haven't done too much lately beyond a lot of napping. XP Mama keeps saying we'll go to the Old House and start fixing things up there, but thus far it's been pretty much a pipe dream.

I was going to rewatch On the Waterfront but I wasn't feeling that great so I didn't. I'm feeling better now, though.

I don't know if I'm meant for a world where Star Trek is suddenly cool.

Next thing you know, they'll do a new Dark Shadows movie. =( And people will be talking about "getting in on the ground floor" of Quentin/Evan, as though it's a new thing. ;__; NO. NO. IT'S PROBABLY NOT A NEW THING. Although Angelique/Nicholas would be really awesome.

Plus Quentin's too sexy to be played by anyone that isn't named David Selby between the years of '68-'71. Just... dgjks adkjgk. It takes a lot to pull off those sideburns.

Or they'll do a remake of Saturday Night Fever and suddenly disco will be cool and I'll have no dorky place to retreat into myself and be shunned from the rest of the world. XD Well, maybe Italian horror movies or D.W. Griffith silents or something, but that all just sounds pretentious even though I really do enjoy them. XD I'm being silly, I'm sorry.

I went to help at the nursing home today, something I'm pretty ashamed to say I haven't done in years. Some of the sisters from my church hold a party for them every month, serving them cake and stuff-- the thing that bothers me about it is that with the exception of my mom, all the sisters who're doing this stuff are at the age to be at the nursing home themselves. It made me feel pretty terrible-- I mean, c'mon, I know nursing homes are no one's favorite place to go but on the same token, more than half these people don't even get visits from their own family. Not all of them are in their right minds but that doesn't make them any less deserving of someone coming over to see about them. And-- ulk, I don't do anything productive with my time besides lay around and be selfish and pretend like I'm going to write something and the least I can do is to try to help somone else out. I told them I'd be glad to help next month, too, they really needed someone to take the plates and stuff.

Anyway. Chewbacca also got his first rounds of shots. If Caroline can be believed (I wasn't there), he attempted to bite everyone there. XD It turns out he has roundworms, which... means we'll be recurring visitors at the animal hospital. The vet who treated him was the same one my mom's been going to for her dogs since she was twelve (in 1964). I think Corpseman has a new candidate for his name.

This girl I took Journalism with back in high school friended me on facebook and then uploaded a picture of me. At first I was like "Oh, gosh, no, this is probably from 12th grade and me staring at some computer screen or something".... and then I took a look and realized it was of the Sailor Senshi, with tags listing every Senshi as someone either from our Journalism class or our high school. For once I got listed as Setsuna and not Ami! Anyway...

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will post the answers to the questions (and the questions themselves) on your blog or journal.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And thus the endless cycle of the meme goes on and on and on and on.

( The questions (I hardly ever do memes so I figure you guys'll let me off this one time, right?) )

I'm still alive!

Grades went as follows:
ENGL 3650-- A
ENGL 3800-- A
SPAN 1002-- B+
HIST 2222-- B+
STAT 2000-- B

Parents were pleasantly surprised that the semesterly C was not accomplished. There may be half a chance of graduating cum laude yet, which actually I don't care that much about. Or wouldn't if my dad hadn't done it and half my cousins. I should've picked a minor already or at least taken more intro courses. Mama suggests something involving comps to balance out the useless English degree.

I watched the Weiss Kruez OVA with Kaley yesterday! That was a lot of fun (and also a lot of melodrama but it had this... weird heart to it, somehow. Plus Ken was pretty awesome), so I'll be watching the anime too. After about five years we'll finally have a fandom in common again! XD

I've been cleaning over the last couple of days. My room is probably the cleanest it's been in three years, the bathroom's cleaner than it's been since the last time I was home (I'm obsessive about clean bathrooms, unlike... my sisters), and I even did the linen closet. My mom did much more, trust me, I'm just lazy.

Caroline's graduation was today! It... was a hectic business getting started and getting over there and stuff. Thankfully they didn't do anything quite like what we did at our graduation. But I was really proud of her and she was really happy. My relatives are over and I still have no idea when they'll go home. I'll post pictures soon, hopefully!

I don't know if I'll ever finish that fic. I keep having... problems over-referencing really inane stuff. And argh, I don't want to reread canon but it looks like I might have to. Or maybe I need a beta to hold my hand help, period.

Nabbed this from onashia, to potentially disasterous results...

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.

2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.

3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!

4. Do ten of these, then post them.

I have three Death Note fics (two are Matt and Mello, one is Misa-centric), four Angel Sanctuary (one is sort of Kurai/Setsunaish, one's sort of Setsuna/Sara, one's Katou/Kira, one's vaguely Kira/Alexiel... heh, oops), one The Long Walk (Jan/Garraty, only really more like McVries/Garraty, depending on your slash goggles), and two Simoun (one is Paraietta/Neviril, the other is Rodreamon and Floe gen). They're in the order I did them in so.. sakjdg sorry about that! They're also varying degrees of... not cohesive, but that's a given with only about 3-4 minutes to do each. It was so much fun!

( Here we go! )

Yes, I am a hippie
40 years too late
Free love is repressed, there's nothing to protest
I'm an over-18 victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

;_________________________________________;

Putting Jimmy Buffett on my playlist always reaps tragic results.

I don't think I'm quite a hippie so much as just a decidedly '60's kid if you want to get technical, but whatever.

( I can safely say this is the only time I dreamed I was a guy. )

In other news, insomnia bites and my hair is getting all stringy/wavy again. ;_; I hate it when it does that. Half-Filipinos should not have wavy hair ajksgsd. I'm going to cut it as soon as I'm back home.

( Fic stuff )

Someone was really sweet on Monday about my poems for class. It meant an awful lot to me. And our presentation for Drama class today went really well! We had to perform one of the one-acts we researched and other than me messing up and reading one of someone else's lines, even that went off without much of a hitch. We exchanged thumbs-ups afterwards like dorks. Compared to the other people in my group my accent was the thickest so I ended up in the accented role. Not that I really minded. XD I'm glad it's over with, though.

I took some pictures of around the college after class. Much as I rant about it in general, the campus itself is beautiful in the spring like this. There are some azalea bushes and roses and stuff around LeConte Hall, but I was too lazy to go over there.

Embarrassing proof of how good I am at amassing junk. The good thing about this is it was all pretty cheap (most in the $3-$7 range, some of it was free). The bad thing about this is explaining come moving time what exactly I've used my dad's sheet protectors for.

Last night somebody heated something in the microwave that wasn't supposed to be heated (at twelve midnight), so the entire second floor smells like burned plastic. I thought it smelled like paint thinner at first, which goes to show how fried my sense of smell is...

Caroline left at 3:30. I hope she had fun visiting, I bought her some ice-cream but unfortunately I lacked the foresight to realize that most of it would melt before I got back with it.

I'm listening to an old Twilight Zone episode, "Still Valley." It's one of my top ten favorites. But almost all the old episodes are worth at least one watch (with the exception of most of the humorous ones).

I needed to get in another cultural event for one of my classes, so I went unknowingly to this conservative thing with Bay Buchanan as the guest speaker. I didn't agree with all the positions presented, and politics in general is something I stay away from (I only read political magazines when I'm already in an irritated mood... despite my subscription) but it was interesting to go see, anyway.

I resisted the temptation to open up the prints and stickers and postcards. The realization that I'm almost out of stuff I actually want to collect in the AS fandom is depressing. Then again my coin, ceramic turtle, and stamp collections have been stagnating, so... XD I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Well, not about the collections but about moving back onto them...

I've got a couple things to do, all due on Friday at some point:

--write 5-7 page paper for Drama class (due Friday at midnight)
--write/memorize paragraph for Spanish class (need to do this by Friday morning)
--write about six non-free-verse poems for Creative Writing (due Friday at 2:00)
--finish my Stat homework (due Friday at 5:30)
--meet up with the people in my group for Drama (Friday at 2:30)

Unfortunately, I'd rather work on fanfics. XP I've got a couple of pages of this one Sara fanfic that's been lying around for months. The premise is such that it'd probably be best to do it in chapters, actually, and the sad fact of the matter is that I want to throw in characters that have absolutely no business being in the fic at all. And the other problem with the fic is that it's not just killing canon, it's strangling it with a telephone cord. Except in another way, it... isn't. XP I do write fics to prove a point, but honestly, I'm like everyone else, I mainly just want people to like what I write.

There's also a Death Note fic that's been on my mind for a couple months now, a Matt and Mello one-shot commentary. Don't worry, no romance!

Currently on Claritin, currently with a paper due, and currently with my little sister, who offered gems like this:

"Cool! They had these things in Spain, too! With the lights and numbers!"

at a crosswalk.

In fairness I had never experienced a crosswalk before going to UGA, either.

I HAVE THE ANGEL SANCTUARY ANGEL BOX!!! alsjkg lksadjf laks jfl alksjf asljfk faskjl fasjkl And the postcards and the seal set and the prints aren't even out of the original plastic sleeves, can you believe? I almost don't even want to open them! skjgsa Should I? jkasg kjfas I know it's so dorky but they're just too beautiful!

I hate how whenever I end up with a sore throat, it's always only one side of it. I should probably just be glad it's only one side, but it's kind of weird. I don't know if Caroline's going to head to college with me over the weekend after all, if it's something contagious. I napped a ton and my voice is back to being essentially gone. Mama's scared it's strep, and to be honest, so am I at this point (although the lack of a fever probably makes the fear a bit null...), so unless it's better by tomorrow morning, she's taking me to the doctor. Since we all know how my excursions to the doctor on-campus go:

Doctor Sanford: I think.... you have a cold!

Me: *mentally* I think... I came up with that diagnosis on my own about a week ago! *out loud* I've had it for over a week and I haven't gotten any better at all and I seriously can't afford getting sick at this point in the semest--

Doctor Sanford: ... So did you come here wanting medicine. *rolls eyes* *makes You Are A Wimp face* Are you allergic to codeine.

Me: No.

Doctor Sanford: *to the slave the intern* Get her some codeine. Oh, and your chart says you need a tetanus shot update! Actually, you're overdue! LET'S DO IT WHILE YOU'RE HERE and make this visit have a POINT!

Me: alkgjsk NO!!!

Not to mention the fact that I always get lost and end up on the wrong bus... yeah.

In other news, as usual, the house has changed since the last time I was here. My mom got bored and repainted the upstairs a different orange-ish color (she repaints every couple of months. At least.), changed all the photographs hanging on the walls going upstairs and in the basement (I was actually a cute kid in the photos of me she has up now, so I have no problem with this), and... changed our showerhead. Yup.

We watched half of Jesus of Nazareth earlier like we do every Easter, and we're going to the Easter Sunday services at the Catholic church again, like we do every Easter. I should've brought Ben-Hur from the dorms. I lugged back all the rest of my manga and Daddy said it was like I'd brought back the whole dorm. =(

There were a couple of people sitting little table outside at the Tate Center a few days ago with a sign saying "Ask A Pagan." It made me want to sit out there with my own sign saying "Ask a Henotheist."

But I won't.

I'm still coughing, but it's... more productive coughs? I ended up giving it to my roommate somehow. I figure given another couple days and another pack of cough drops, I'll be okay. I've been sleeping much more than usual to attempt to counteract it all, maybe it's working. A lot of it's pure allergies, though. Gotta love pollen. XD

I listened to part of Conference earlier! I missed it over last weekend because I was sick, but they have recordings on the BYU broadcasting website and they're just very uplifting to hear. I know there are only a couple of Mormons on my f-list (and to be honest, I'm not entirely sure how many of you guys are still practicing askjgsd although I guess that's just not something you ask), but thus far I really loved Elder Uctdorf's talk from the Sunday morning session-- "ours is not a second-hand religion, we need to practice what we preach"-- it's advice I need to take. You can find all the sessions here (I'm hoping it'll allow me to link it.)

I'm going home tomorrow for Easter weekend! I'm looking forward to it an awful lot (Mama's cooking a ham and probably a pound cake, too), but not so much the week afterwards since I've got two five-page papers due almost as soon as I'm back. XP Ulk. Caroline's coming back with me for the whole sampling-the-college-lifestyle bit, but I'm afraid she'll be bored to tears with watching me type up junk the whole time...

( Edit: here's that icon meme that's been going around )

I WON THE AUCTION!!!!! And I only had to pay $14 (plus shipping, but still!)!! aljskdg jagskl glkjdskj kajgskj askjg Omigosh, I'm so happy! Guess who's going to be lamely checking her mailbox twice a day for the next two weeks. >.> akgsjd I'll probably post pictures as soon as I get it 'cause I'm just that big of a dork. Not that anyone even really wants to see it, but... XD Humor me a little, maybe?

Anyway. Fanfic meme thing!

Title Meme
1. Pick the last 5 things you've written.
2. Explain the titles
3. Tag at will!

Light Pollution-- This was a last-minute title, I threw in about three or four random allusions to light (be it strobe lights or lit cigarettes or lights flashing off of jewelry) to help make it fit. The title is a (rather lame) pun: light pollution as in actual light pollution, and light (as in not heavy) pollution from the cigarettes everyone's smoking. And then there's also the semi-cliched reference to Lucifer the light-bearer.

No Answer-- Title from Amy Lowell's "Patterns." I was going to title it "Patterns," initially, but then I decided it wouldn't fit, and wouldn't hammer home the fact that Kira doesn't say a word back during the entire story.

Mainsprings-- Title from a quote by Margaret Mitchell about how people without their mainsprings are better off dead. A mainspring is basically what powers a mechanical watch: no mainspring, no working watch. And so on and so forth, incoherent implications about what the characters' mainsprings really are, rambling about being alive when you're dead and dead while you're alive, etc. I've taken too many Lit. courses for my own good. XP

Unwinnable-- Mello can't beat Near. Matt can't beat Tetris. And there's nothing either of them can do about it, it's something inherent. Not that either of them will admit to it. I think with this one I stretched the game analogy of Wammy's House as far as I really wanted to take it.

Cast it to Dogs-- Title from a Biblical quote here (verses 26-27). I'm pretty sure I misinterpret that one every time I come across it, but I always connected it in my mind with the "pearls before swine" verse-- something precious thrown to someone completely unworthy of it. This fic was supposed to be more gruesome and depressing and throw in allusions to Legion and the Witch of Endor but I held off since no one but me ever gets the references in the first place. =(

Most of my f-list doesn't write fanfic anymore (and hasn't since '06-ish), but oh, well, if you do, feel free!

You know you're too quiet when it takes you three days to figure out you've ended up with laryngitis from coughing too much and so your voice is halfway gone. Because you almost never use it.

You know you're sick when you come within a hair's breadth of missing class because you feel awful. I know I'm a lackluster college student in most respects, but one thing I never do is skip class. I'm better today, though! I did some heavy-duty napping and doused myself up with some pretty disgusting cherry-flavored cough suppressants and Tylenol, so I'm sure I'll be back to my normal self soon.

I was rewatching Simoun earlier, but either my computer or Veoh has gotten weird-- if I put it on pause for more than about two minutes, it won't play the episode and will start playing a commercial on me instead. And that was aggravating, so after about four tries I just gave up. Sorry, Neviril.

I'm going home next weekend. Caroline's coming back with me to visit-- she'll be staying from Sunday night to Wednesday afternoon. My room's not nearly as disheveled as it is normally, and I'll probably be spending most of my time working on papers and junk, so she probably won't have much fun hanging out with me. =( I'm going to take her out to eat, though (not just to Chick-fil-a, thank you very much, I'll take her to some of the downtown restaurants, too), so maybe she'll forgive me. I hope so.

There's one day and three hours left on the auction!

I never use this icon for whatever reason. I mostly just like the keywords.

Anyway. My drama teacher's April Fool's joke was springing a third paper on us. We were all less than amused at her brilliance.

I watched The Wicker Man for about the fourth time ever today! Mostly to get my mind off my Stat test, but it worked. I love Sergeant Howie, he's so dedicated, even if it does get him killed in the end. And Christopher Lee is, well, Christopher Lee.

I've written thirty-one pages of bad fanfic. I think the No Life Brigade is at the door begging me to become their president. If anyone wants to even flip through this crud, let me know, because I think my fics are bad by default and I kind of would want some feedback. I promise I'd only send you about ten pages or less of the mess.

I've also been reading copious amounts of Baby Sitters Club fanfiction. There is something very depressing about reading about how in fanficland post-BSC, Mallory has become a chain-smoker, Stacey is basically an unpaid prostitute, etc., and for awhile there I was like "okay, why am I doing this to my childhood?" But that thought, unfortunately, passed. It hit me that sometimes? I want to read something where everything turns out all right in the end, something where people are actually good and situations get resolved. Even I get sick of writing and reading about complete jerks. It's enough to make you want to put Harvey on your comp and never quit watching it. I'd like to read about a nicer world. I'd like to watch a nicer world.

People in my creative writing class really like my stuff. This one girl, Katherine, had a comment about how everything I wrote was so "gentle and fragile, like little dolls"-- or something like that-- which I kind of get but I kind of don't. I guess I'm a fragile person so I write about fragile people. The week before last, I was going to write up a quick mystery story (about an ebay buyer who mysteriously ends up getting rare merchandise that turns out to be sent to her from a ghost) but I'm so glad I stuck to my guns and wrote about Papa instead. My professor said something about how I should get that one published. ajkslglsjkl

So far no one's bid against me! That makes me happy, but I kind of figure people are just biding their time, sort of...

My mom called and she said she'd gotten something straightened out, an answer to a prayer, but she wouldn't tell me what it was. So I figure I already know, and... well, even if I don't know the exact details I'm still pretty happy for her. She's kind of like me in a lot of ways, she lets these huge things eat away at her for eons and I'm glad she got an answer.

I'm probably going home next weekend for Easter. After that, Caroline's supposed to come over for a few days to sample the college lifestyle before she goes to JSU in the fall. I'm not going to drag her to too many classes, don't worry. XD

I've been lonesome but not as bad as usual.