show a little faith, there's magic in the night

If only in my dreams

2009-12-25T15:30:15Z

Merry Christmas, everybody! ♥

I really wanted to make everyone on my f-list an icon this year that was relevant to whatever fandom they were in (I think the last time I did this was '05 or '06), but barely got started before I realized that I wouldn't get finished with 40ish icons in one setting, so instead I'll just open up requests-- any image(s) you want, link me and I'll be glad to color/icon/bannerize, whatever. It's not much but I hope it makes the season a little merrier. =)

Caroline's now only missing Sailor Uranus, Neptune (which I just bought but hasn't been shipped), and Pluto before her gashapon collection is more or less complete. I just hope she doesn't want the rest of the sets next year, that might break the bank! XD

I went to Midnight Mass as usual last night; it was a good service. The little kids did the Nativity play as usual. This one poor kid is apparently typecast as the donkey, I remember him from last year!

She swears that soon she'll be coming home forever

2009-10-19T02:24:19Z

Today I saw the play version of The Grapes of Wrath for my Script Analysis class. My roommate was sweet enough to drive me there and back. The poor people in the Theater department have basically got zero funding this year so they had to be inventive with their staging/props/costumes (meaning they literally brought everything from home). This sometimes ended up being a hit-or-miss deal unfortunately, but I think they did a good job with what they had, overall. Someone was really inventive to make Bell drinking jars a stand-in for car headlights! I thought I'd get to sit next to this girl in my Script class, Collins, during the performance, but sadly I miscounted the seats and had to move away.

I feel like I'm napping way too much lately ~~I know, I know, I've been saying this for five years or more~~ and I'd like to cut back at least a little. Maybe in small doses. Just, I don't know. I get bored, so I sleep, I get sad, so I sleep, I stay up too late, so I sleep... and I know that's not healthy in the least, and I know I need to stop that.

I've been writing, but only a little bit. Midterms are over, which means I won't be so stressed out, at least, not until I get my grades back from the rest of them. I got an A-minus on my Elizabethan Poetry midterm, which I'm pretty proud of. I really like Dr. Doyle. XD Lauren says she'll drop Romantic Lit. depending on her grade on the midterm but I say anyone who got a perfect on one of the Poetry Reports for that class ought not to fret too much about that!

I also did my schedule for next semester but it's pretty tentative-- basically three English courses, my last Spanish class, and a random film class. I usually change it up a lot betwen now and January, so I'm not hedging my bets on keeping most of it. But here's hoping it works out!

Just like a dream

2009-10-12T16:38:03Z

My advising appointment is in two hours and I've just printed out my DARS report and taken a good, long look at what I've got to do.

Basically five more English courses and... the rest are essentially electives (with the exception of Spanish 2002). This means I'd better get a minor. So I dig around hoping to shove myself into the Film Studies minor, because I actually like movies (which I... still might be able to sneak my way into, we'll see), but from the looks of it thanks to my somewhat-terrible taste in electives earlier (Greek Culture? Philosophy? Fun classes, useless for a helpful minor, especially when lower-level classes won't count towards it!), but... from the looks of it, if I end up with one, it's probably going to be Religion. =(

I've got a lot to get done this week. I haven't started my Spanish paper yet... or my presentation for Wednesday. But I did study for my almost-last midterm in Romantic Lit. that's on Tuesday. ~~The other one isn't due until Wednesday which means I won't touch it until Tuesday at ten p.m., probably...~~

I got soaked when a truck sloshed through this gigantic puddle in the road near the sidewalk. So much for my umbrella! XD But in brighter news, I kind of think it's not raining as much! I'll find out for sure in about half an hour when I run to class, but... XD

How could that happen anyhow

2009-10-10T02:42:22Z

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Created with angelamaria's Icon Table Generator @ Bauble

As usual, I did some experimenting with this batch, trying for the super-shading that's popular these days. I had mixed results, obviously, and decided it was too time-consuming for me to work too much with at the moment-- plus, well, I like my pseudo-cel shading. I've got a few alternates of some of the icons, and also a nearly-complete colored page of the page most of the Simoun icons came from, so if you'd like to see those, let me know! You don't have to credit, but if you'd like, it's ruriruri, obviously! =)

Blue upon a birthday cake

2009-09-26T03:26:32Z

Happy birthday to me. Twenty feels so distressing.

So that means it's time for my yearly birthday tradition where I try to give everybody else something! Give me a prompt and/or pairing and I'll write you a fic (I do promise to get these done-- also, my fandoms, sadly, haven't changed over the years, either, so...). Or if you'd rather, give me an image, or a couple of images, and I'd be glad to make you an icon! =D I don't quite expect to get many requests since I've been terrible about iconing and ficcing lately, not to mention posting/responding to comments, but-- please, let me know if you'd like anything! =)

You're face to face

2009-09-23T23:59:21Z

In two days, I'll be twenty. This is more than a little terrifying, 'cause every year older I turn-- heck, even throughout the course of the year, I never feel any different or more grown-up than I did the year before. And I just feel kind of silly. Twenty years, where'd they go, to quote the old Bob Seger song. I'm going home for my birthday weekend and hopefully I'll get to hang out with Amanda and Cierra a bit before I have to come back.

Roomie is nice but quiet. I keep trying to talk to her but I feel like I might be intruding on her personal space a little, or else that I'm getting nervous and more blatantly nerdy than usual when I try to talk about anything beyond classes and stuff. =( Our posters kept falling down for a solid month and we attributed it to the ghosts of the dead Beatles and Jim Morrison. It's also exceptionally cold in here (this entire dorm is always cold, but our room is worse than normal). Sometimes I'll play a Doors song to appease the spirits.

I've started up another icon batch, although thus far it's pretty small. Hopefully it'll get here before October, maybe? Here's hoping! =) I haven't been as busy with my schoolwork as I know I ought to be, and I'm sure that's going to end up pretty damaging later on if I don't quit procrastinating now. Thus far my Spanish grades are in the high-B range, which is... about ten points off from where they need to be, but it's actually kind of surprising that they're as high as they are, considering how horrendous my Spanish is. Don't ask, don't tell, maybe? I have an A in my Honors Multicultural Women's Studies class right now (although I've only done one assignment in there so far, so that's not actually as impressive as it sounds), and... a B in Romantic Lit (also only one assignment, so that's not as depressive as it sounds). Script Analysis is almost more exciting than refreshing my inbox. ... And Elizabethan Poetry I come to out of the ~~nagging fear my 80-year-old-professor is going to die of a heart attack mid-lecture~~ hope that my professor is going to tell a joke. The reading's really light for his class, though.

Oh, and Lauren's in my Romantic Lit course! I roomed across the hall from her during our freshman year and we had English 3000 together as sophomores. She's a real sweetheart and we draw in class together. She's a lot more attentive than I am, though. XD She's having to borrow my notes tomorrow-- I just hope they're legible/not covered with too many absent-minded sketches...

Walking class... just don't take it. Seriously. The first day of actual walking, I didn't know if I'd have time to double back over to my dorm to dump off my bookbag and then catch the bus, so I ended up carrying it for twenty minutes in eighty-eight degree weather, before it hit one of the guys in the class that no, I was part of the walking class, not someone that was trying to get to class, and he very gentlemanly carried it for me the rest of the way. ... I hope it didn't hurt his back or anything, it was ten pounds... he also offered to let me borrow a quarter so I could put it in the rental lockers in the Ramsey Center next time, but I decided just to drop off my stuff at the dorms from then on. At any rate, this was all last month.

I've had a cold since yesterday and I was really woozy/doped-up on Tylenol, which meant I... was not that coherent and napped even more than usual, oops. I'm feeling better now, though! Besides my throat, anyway. I've been watching lots of movies lately (and rewatching)-- right now I've got Cool Hand Luke and Manhattan Melodrama, neither of which I've finished yet, although I need to soon.

I'm turning over the idea of volunteer tutoring little kids in English again. If I can get transportation over to the schools, I'd be really glad to do it. We'll see!

Let them melt, let them fire, let them burn

2009-09-01T00:54:40Z

Long time no update! Eep. I haven't been up to too much beyond getting back to the dorms and into the swing of things, or trying, anyway. My new roommate's name is Jill and she's awfully sweet! She likes the Beatles and the Bee Gees and Harry Potter; thus far we've gotten along pretty well. Although she's concerned about my (lack of) sleeping habits.

Um, anyway, here's my schedule for the semester:

Monday:
9:05-9:55-- English 4300 (Elizabethan Poetry)
10:10-11:00-- Women's Studies 1100 Honors (Multicultural Women's Studies-- it's for my multicultural credit, obviously)
1:25-2:15-- Drama 3290 (Script Analysis)

Tuesday:
11:00-12:15-- Spanish 2001
12:30-1:45-- English 4500 (Romantic Literature... which means more poetry)
2:30-3:45-- P.E. (Walking)

Wednesday:
9:05-9:55-- English 4300 (Elizabethan Poetry)
10:10-11:00-- Women's Studies 1100 Honors (Multicultural Women's Studies-- it's for my multicultural credit, obviously)
1:25-2:15-- Drama 3290 (Script Analysis)

Thursday:
11:00-12:15-- Spanish 2001
12:30-1:45-- English 4500 (Romantic Literature... which means more poetry)
2:30-3:45-- P.E. (Walking)

Friday:
9:05-9:55-- English 4300 (Elizabethan Poetry)
10:10-11:00-- Women's Studies 1100 Honors (Multicultural Women's Studies-- it's for my multicultural credit, obviously)

Luckily, the P.E. class is only going to be for the first ten weeks of school, so as long as I can hold out until then, I think I'll be okay. Hopefully! I've been back at school since the 16th and while thus far nothing exciting has happened, I'm still holding out. It's only August!

perpetual_poet spoiled me by getting me my birthday present early. sdkgjas A Netflix subscription! I'm going to finally get to see The Unknown and Cape Fear! Thank you so much!

Don't fly, Mister Bluebird

2009-08-06T04:13:29Z

sdhfkls;l Why didn't anyone tell me Leonard Nimoy was going to be at DragonCon this year?

;___________________________;

That's about ten times better than Sulu (the guy that plays Sulu, anyway, whatever) who came last year!

gakjdskfj askfjg gksdjak I have to go. I'm only 70 miles away from ~~Spock~~ Nimoy. And I always wanted to see Gina Biggs (from Red String, which I've been following since... sophomore year, I think).

I had some emo stuff to update with but it goes into pity-me territory and heck if I'm going there. Happy birthday, Daddy.

Also, I think I now may have the biggest AS collection in this state and possibly in the South but I don't think that's something to be proud of. >.> I'm tempted to take it all with me to the dorms, but I might end up losing some of it or something.

I go back to school next Saturday. And oh, I might be going to that biggest yard sale thing around Chattanooga-Gadsden (I think, anyway), since my aunt and uncle are crashing at our house a couple nights when they go. I'm a sucker for yard sales and stuff, maybe I'll find something cool. =)

It's all the same to me

2009-07-06T20:01:31Z

I just found the one song that perfectly describes my life ~~and hard times~~.

I got my AER scholarship stuff in the mail and sent in the acceptance last Monday. You know things are bad when they include an enclosure essentially saying "It's not just you, we reduced everyone's scholarship for budget reasons" inside the agreement. I'm really glad I've stayed at UGA instead of transferring to BYU or something like that, 'cause from the looks of it, my family's... going to need all the money I've helped saved, what with Caroline's college stuff probably running at about $13,000 a year. Ouch.

Anyway, I've been drawing a lot lately but most of my results are a little less than stellar. I enjoy paneling out pages, even if I never figure out any appropriate dialogue or a plot or anything like that. XD At least it's fun!

I'm still on a Sailor Moon kick but vehemently trying to deny it. ;_; I went to Amanda's last week, which was fun. We melted white chocolate bark and poured it over pretzels and had pizza and basically it was a good time (although I probably should've called to let my parents know I was staying so late). Cierra was there for a couple of hours. It was kind of funny, we didn't even put any movies in or anything, just talked. And made a game out of trying to catch a nickel.

To the extent that it's absurd

2009-06-26T02:12:51Z

I just watched La Strada and have been sobbing off and on for the last ten minutes.

When in the world did I grow up to be such a girl.

Everyone needs to see that movie. I've only cried during two other movies in my life that I remember (during Captains Courageous and during this '50's Japanese movie about a man dying of cancer-- ever since I saw that movie, I've been trying to track it down but to absolutely no avail) and... just oh, man. It's sad and horrible and beautiful (and it's why I'm depressed so don't worry about that!).

There are some job woes concerning my dad and stuff but hopefully things will work out. We took Chewbacca to the vet today to get his second round of shots; the poor thing was so scared he whimpered the whole time in his carrier while we were in the waiting room, until I felt so bad for him I let him out. He's doing all right. We met a dog that looked just like him... only about three times his size! XD And I drove back from the vet's today and even drove the van a little bit. I'm hoping to get more confident in my driving soon.

After we went to the vet's, me and my mom talked a lot and watched a lot of Forever Knight episodes on the bed. Or started to, anyway, I was feeling sort of lousy pretty quickly and ended up falling asleep through half of them. But I've seen most of them already, so no big loss, I guess. XD

My sister's on her senior trip; I called to tell her Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett had died (although it turned out she already knew it). Her response was: "The little children will sleep safely tonight."

... Yeah. Personally, I have always been far too fond of "Billie Jean" for my own good. It's going to be weird with him gone. I don't see any cool dance moves being on the rise to rival the moonwalk anytime too soon.

For twenty dollars you can buy yourself one, too

2009-06-24T02:10:38Z

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Created with angelamaria's Icon Table Generator @ Bauble

Some of these are over a year old (and look it), and some are the victims of entirely too much experimentation and I apologize for that. But I've got half a summer left, so hopefully I'll get a more normal, less wince-inducing post up soon. You don't have to credit, but if you do, it's ruriruri!

With the flowers everywhere

2009-06-22T04:04:55Z

I got my silly clearfile and poster in the mail the other day. I really want to catalogue most of the junk I have if only I wouldn't feel like a freak afterwards. =(

Mama's finished reading Dracula and she says it's pretty good. I may try it since I haven't read anything that wasn't for class in what feels like forever. Caroline's going to freshman orientation today and tomorrow, which means it's going to be just me and Ellen at the house all day tomorrow. Well, me, Ellen, and the menagerie. Chewbacca was sick and went to the vet yesterday, but he's all right now!

I hung out at Cierra's grandmother's yesterday with Cierra and Amanda. It was nice-- we watched Valkyrie and ate copious amounts of food. I'd brought a pan of brownies (all but one was eaten), we went out and split the cost of a Papa John's pizza and pizza sticks ($18, and all but one piece of pizza was eaten-- the pizza sticks never had a chance), and then... drank a lot of water bottles. And I do mean a lot of water bottles.

But in slightly less important news I'm finally getting boobs.

I didn't think it was possible to be nearly twenty and your hormones finally realizing they've barely gotten you out of training bras in the last eight years, but I'm really not going to complain, haha. The funny thing was, they started to hurt and I figure dang it, here we come, PMS-- only they just... kept kind of hurting for longer than was really necessary, and then my sister kept telling me I'd gotten bigger but I didn't believe her until I looked.

I don't look at myself very often, okay.

... I hope this isn't really like a sign of breast cancer or something. ;___;

Where fields were green

2009-06-16T04:25:40Z

Happy eighteenth birthday, Caroline! (Well, yesterday, anyway.) ♥ I got her a Sailor Jupiter gashapon and a pencilboard, along with some SM cards... and then I caved and gave her my Sailor Mars gashapon, too. She really seemed to like them! Maybe I can slowly get her the complete series, you think? Something like that... anyhow, she's downstairs with her best friend now, having a sleepover.

I went with my mom to do Visiting Teaching, since Pat couldn't do it. It was pretty nice and I enjoyed talking to the sisters, even if I did end up signed up to help Sister Acker clean house tomorrow. XD But I don't mind! I sort of enjoy service, it helps me feel better.

It's lightning pretty bad out, I... seriously doubt the connection will hold up so I'll keep this pretty quick. I haven't done too much lately beyond a lot of napping. XP Mama keeps saying we'll go to the Old House and start fixing things up there, but thus far it's been pretty much a pipe dream.

I was going to rewatch On the Waterfront but I wasn't feeling that great so I didn't. I'm feeling better now, though.

Can't get used to living here

2009-06-11T06:08:29Z

Sara meets her brother once a month after school—just once a month, so her mother isn’t too suspicious. She tells her she’s out with friends, at the arcade, at the mall, and because Sara’s hardly a liar by nature, her mother nods and tells her she can get some money from her purse. And Sara takes the money, goes on to school—then hurries afterwards, catching the bus to their meeting place twelve kilometers away.

He’s often late, usually because of Kira.

Kira takes a savage fondness in hitting on her. She’s never understood it, and Setsuna’s told her before that he pretty much seeks her out for the worst of it.

--

It’s on fire. Everything’s ablaze, the heat sears her face, her arms, the smoke choking her.

(hot like hell)

“Setsuna…”
“It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”

But it’s not Setsuna, it can’t be Setsuna. She could almost laugh at even thinking it could be him, but
(god it’s so hot)

(so hot and the smoke’s everywhere)

Kira’s voice is low and so calm it almost scares her.

“Come on. We’re going to have to jump.”

“K-kira… oh, my God, you—”

“We’re going to have to jump.” He doesn’t give her room for argument. Sara’s eyes are watering up from the smoke but she sees enough of his face to know it’s flushed, maybe even burned. Kira throws his coat over her head, grabs her arm and half-drags her away from the table. She hears a crash and then a low curse.

Then his arms are around her waist and she feels herself being lifted off her feet.

--

“That boyfriend of yours was really something.”

“He’s not my boyfriend, we just…” Sara pauses, unsure. “We’re friends.”

(but you’re not are you)

(he’s your brother’s friend)

“He saved your life.” The doctor has his clipboard out, starts going over the standard questions: level of pain from one to ten, any discomfort. He’s given her a sedative.

“Where is he? Is he all right?”

--

He's all right. Burns from trying to open the window, the metal latches hot against his skin, lacerations from smashing the window in with his fist. No sprained ankle from the two-story jump. He refused treatment in the ER, hands bunched up in the pockets of his ruined jacket. It's very action-hero, very melodramatic, and maybe that's why Sara can't quite believe it, even when she's thanking him, half-sedated on the hospital bed.

"Hell of a first date," he mutters in apology, staring at the IV.

--

He arrives for their second

(and why there is a second even she doesn't know)

wearing a light blue button-down shirt and slacks. His hair is held back in a ponytail that looks almost respectable, and although the fingers on both his hands are bandaged he doesn’t seem to be having much trouble with them.

“Hi, Sara,” he says when she opens the door for him, then, “May I come in?”

Sara can barely believe this is the same person who hit on her mercilessly, viciously from the day she turned twelve on. She stiffens at the change, tries to tell herself that this is his better nature showing through.

(c’mon, sara, even you don’t really think he has one)

“Yes.” Sara clears her throat. “Mom, this is Sakuya Kira.”

Her mother regards Kira with a cold stare, and Sara knows how her mind is working: taking in his neat clothes, polite demeanor, and trying to decide if it’s all genuine.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She nods her head, but barely. “I think I’ve seen you before.”

“Well, I go to Setsuna’s school, ma’a—”

“You’re one of his friends?” she spits out, stiffening.

“Mom,” Sara interrupts, “we’ve really got to go, Kira’s made reservations and everything.” Probably a lie. She’s surprised when Kira nods, backing her up.

--

“Good call. I actually did have reservations,” Kira says as they step out the door, with what passes for a small, teasing smile. Sara bunches her hands in her pockets, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“You went to that much trouble, Kira-senpai?”

“Well, sure.” He surprises her by not leering as he says it. She flushes.

“We’re not going to ride your motorbike, are we?”

Kira laughs.

“You don’t trust my driving?”

“Setsuna says you drive like you have a death wish.” Sara narrows her eyes.

Kira shrugs. There’s an odd look on his face for just a second—it might be regret, but it fades before Sara can say anything about it.
“I’m careful when I’ve got actual passengers.” He tilts his head. “Anyway, takes two to make an accident, am I right?”

“That’s a really awful way to look at it.”

It must not be the response Kira wants, and she gives him a glance then, expecting him to explain. He doesn’t.

--
Sara surprises herself by not having a horrible time.

Kira can almost be a gentleman, it seems, if it suits his purposes. Almost being the keyword, because it’s as though try as he might, he can’t keep the slightest smirk off his face as he talks to the waiter. Sara chews on her lip at the prices but he assures her she can pick anything off the menu.

“How did you even afford this?”

“Oh, I work on weekends sometimes.”

“You know, it’s kind of funny, Kira-senpai,” Sara says after another swallow of water. “We’ve known each other for three years and I still don’t know that much about you.”

“There’s not much to tell.” Kira shrugs.

“Of course there is! Tell me about yourself.” Sara resists the sudden impulse to stick out her tongue and starts to cut up her food as she continues. “Like—what do you like to do? Where do you want to go to university, what’s your favorite color—you know, stuff like that.”

He swallows a bite of alfredo before answering.

“Well, I like to read, I’m not going to university, and my favorite color is red.”

She’s not sure if he’s subtly making fun of her or just trying to answer her questions. His tone's as dry and deadpan as usual.

“Why aren’t you? Setsuna told me you were smart.”

“It’s too expensive. Plus my scores on the practice entrance exams are pretty bad and I’d rather not bother with cram school.”

“Oh.” She hasn’t expected that. “I’m… probably just going to a junior college after I graduate. That’s what my mom wants.”

“Do you always do what she wants?”

She thinks of the monthly meetings and shakes her head.

“But don’t tell her that,” she adds with a smile.

“Sara-chan! And all that time I thought you were a saint.” He’s finished off most of the alfredo already. “Guess I’ll have to readjust my opinion.”

“I guess you will,” she says, then laughs.

--
He calls her up a week later and asks her out again. Another week, another date.

It gets better. It gets easier.

By the third date he’s not so awkward anymore. He’s still dressed neatly, always in slacks and button-downs, glasses in his pocket.

But it’s odd, because he never says a word about their relationship. Much as Sara doesn’t like to think of it that way, they’re dating, they really are, but Kira hasn’t even tried to kiss her yet. And that’s strange for a guy with his reputation.

“Maybe it means he really likes you.”

“You think so?”

“That’d make it more romantic, right?”

“I guess.”

“You are—together, right? I mean, an item? He’s not going out with anyone else?” Ruri cleans off her glasses with a handkerchief.

“I don’t think so.”

“Don’t you think it’s exciting?”

“It’s no big deal. Really.”

“He’s got a weird aura about him, though.” Ruri lowers her voice to a confidential whisper. “I mean weird. Practically as bad as your brot—”

Sara cuts her off impatiently.

“You’re always saying that.”

--
But it’s true.

(there’s something about him that reminds you of your brother)

(that protective feeling)

(could you see white wings on him too?)

(no)

No, she’s sure of that much. And she’s almost willing to bet that protective feeling isn’t even directed at her, not really.

--

“I can’t come.”

“Oh. Did something—”

“That’s the day I’m supposed to spend time with my brother. Remember?”

He should remember. It’s not like him to forget. Sara wraps the phone cord around her fingers, waiting on his response. She hears him clear his throat on the other end of the line.

“I forgot. How about the day after that? Seven o’clock?”

“That’d be fine.”

“All right. See you, Sara.”

“Bye, Kira.”

--

He kisses her that night.

It’s surprising, his mouth on hers, tasting vaguely like the popcorn they’d shared at the movie theater, his hand touching her cheek. It’s not as rough as she’d expected, and it doesn’t last long at all. She draws back as soon as she feels him start to pull away.

“I… Kira…”

Sara looks him full in the face, taking him in as if for the first time.

“Was that too…”

She can barely believe it, Kira about to apologize.

(well, he is dating you)

(has been for a solid month)

(making this the most natural thing in the world)

(right, sara? right?)

She leans over to kiss him back.

--
(could you see white wings on him)

(no, not at all)
--

Don't you wonder how you keep on moving

2009-06-05T02:22:27Z

I don't know if I'm meant for a world where Star Trek is suddenly cool.

Next thing you know, they'll do a new Dark Shadows movie. =( And people will be talking about "getting in on the ground floor" of Quentin/Evan, as though it's a new thing. ;__; NO. NO. IT'S ~~PROBABLY~~ NOT A NEW THING. Although Angelique/Nicholas would be really awesome.

Plus Quentin's too sexy to be played by anyone that isn't named David Selby between the years of '68-'71. Just... dgjks adkjgk. It takes a lot to pull off those sideburns.

Or they'll do a remake of Saturday Night Fever and suddenly disco will be cool and I'll have no dorky place to retreat into myself and be shunned from the rest of the world. XD Well, maybe Italian horror movies or D.W. Griffith silents or something, but that all just sounds pretentious even though I really do enjoy them. XD I'm being silly, I'm sorry.

I went to help at the nursing home today, something I'm pretty ashamed to say I haven't done in years. Some of the sisters from my church hold a party for them every month, serving them cake and stuff-- the thing that bothers me about it is that with the exception of my mom, all the sisters who're doing this stuff are at the age to be at the nursing home themselves. It made me feel pretty terrible-- I mean, c'mon, I know nursing homes are no one's favorite place to go but on the same token, more than half these people don't even get visits from their own family. Not all of them are in their right minds but that doesn't make them any less deserving of someone coming over to see about them. And-- ulk, I don't do anything productive with my time besides lay around and be selfish and pretend like I'm going to write something and the least I can do is to try to help somone else out. I told them I'd be glad to help next month, too, they really needed someone to take the plates and stuff.

Anyway. Chewbacca also got his first rounds of shots. If Caroline can be believed (I wasn't there), he attempted to bite everyone there. XD It turns out he has roundworms, which... means we'll be recurring visitors at the animal hospital. The vet who treated him was the same one my mom's been going to for her dogs since she was twelve (in 1964). I think Corpseman has a new candidate for his name.

I can't seem to stay in step

2009-06-01T23:16:04Z

This girl I took Journalism with back in high school friended me on facebook and then uploaded a picture of me. At first I was like "Oh, gosh, no, this is probably from 12th grade and me staring at some computer screen or something".... and then I took a look and realized it was of the Sailor Senshi, with tags listing every Senshi as someone either from our Journalism class or our high school. For once I got listed as Setsuna and not Ami! Anyway...

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will post the answers to the questions (and the questions themselves) on your blog or journal.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And thus the endless cycle of the meme goes on and on and on and on.

1. Which character do you identify with the most?
Um. Most any character harboring an entirely (or near-entirely) unrequited love. =( GATSBY. I don't know if "identify with" and "would like to jump into his arms" are quite the same thing, though. If not, then Ami from Sailor Moon.

2. What is your absolute most favorite song and why?
I have this tendency to put one song on repeat for a solid week and then hardly ever play it after that. But... probably the Rolling Stones' "Angie." (If anyone wants it, let me know, I think I have it on my laptop somewhere!) I like it 'cause there's so much emotion to it-- he's really hurting, but it manages not to come off as sappy, despite that. ~~The less serious answer is the Rolling Stones' "Star Star."~~

3. If you could make up a crayon color name to describe yourself, what would it be?
Shrinking Violet? Or Dorkavey?

4. What do you like on your pizza?
Pepperoni, cheese, and mushrooms (but those are optional). I don't mind other stuff on it, but that's really all I need to enjoy it.

5. If you were a Senshi, what would your element be?
Water, probably.

For fear of growing old

2009-05-23T04:04:55Z

I'm still alive!

Grades went as follows:
ENGL 3650-- A
ENGL 3800-- A
SPAN 1002-- B+
HIST 2222-- B+
STAT 2000-- B

Parents were pleasantly surprised that the semesterly C was not accomplished. There may be half a chance of graduating cum laude yet, which actually I don't care that much about. Or wouldn't if my dad hadn't done it and half my cousins. I should've picked a minor already or at least taken more intro courses. Mama suggests something involving comps to balance out the ~~useless~~ English degree.

I watched the Weiss Kruez OVA with Kaley yesterday! That was a lot of fun (and also a lot of melodrama but it had this... weird heart to it, somehow. Plus Ken was pretty awesome), so I'll be watching the anime too. After about five years we'll finally have a fandom in common again! XD

I've been cleaning over the last couple of days. My room is probably the cleanest it's been in three years, the bathroom's cleaner than it's been since the last time I was home (I'm obsessive about clean bathrooms, unlike... my sisters), and I even did the linen closet. My mom did much more, trust me, I'm just lazy.

Caroline's graduation was today! It... was a hectic business getting started and getting over there and stuff. Thankfully they didn't do anything quite like what we did at our graduation. But I was really proud of her and she was really happy. My relatives are over and I still have no idea when they'll go home. I'll post pictures soon, hopefully!

I don't know if I'll ever finish that fic. I keep having... problems over-referencing really inane stuff. And argh, I don't want to reread canon but it looks like I might have to. Or maybe I need a beta to ~~hold my hand~~ help, period.

Who would ever want to be king

2009-05-03T18:38:39Z

Nabbed this from onashia, to potentially disasterous results...

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.

2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.

3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!

4. Do ten of these, then post them.

I have three Death Note fics (two are Matt and Mello, one is Misa-centric), four Angel Sanctuary (one is sort of Kurai/Setsunaish, one's sort of Setsuna/Sara, one's Katou/Kira, one's vaguely Kira/Alexiel... heh, oops), one The Long Walk (Jan/Garraty, only really more like McVries/Garraty, depending on your slash goggles), and two Simoun (one is Paraietta/Neviril, the other is Rodreamon and Floe gen). They're in the order I did them in so.. sakjdg sorry about that! They're also varying degrees of... not cohesive, but that's a given with only about 3-4 minutes to do each. It was so much fun!

"leave the bourbon on the shelf," the killers (angel sanctuary, katou/kira)
and i never liked your hair or those people that you lie with
And it’s really not like he’d broken up with him or anything stupid like that. Really not like he has a valid excuse to feel this much like crap just because Kira’s run off on him for the tenth time this year, chasing after some girl with nothing going for her but big breasts.

Really.

Katou sits around in Kira’s hideout, thinks about reorganizing the CDs or wrinkling the neat sheets or something, anything, but in the end he just goes to bed, half-hungover.
--

"love is a battlefield," pat benatar (simoun, paraietta/neviril)
i'm trapped by your love and i'm chained to your side
Paraietta didn’t know how much she’d needed Neviril until Neviril decided to pair with Aaeru.
She’d tried not to let it worry her. It made sense—perfect sense: Aaeru had that drive, that desire, in the same way Amuria had. It was natural, then.

(but)

Kaimu was trying to comfort her, in her way, all Para-sama, let me help you, Para-sama, but she’s not Neviril, that’s all.
--

"all the pretty faces," the killers (angel sanctuary, vague kira/alexiel)
i don't feel like fucking her no more
“There’s this thing,” Kira says, fooling around with his own hair between his fingers, a gesture that should seem almost effeminate but doesn’t, glancing at her, “called courtly love. Scholars say it only existed in literary theory, all that. But I think they’re wrong, I think it did.”

Sara blinks at him, this is coming out of nowhere, nowhere at all.

“Idealized romantic love, basically. The knight in corroded armor dies—not for the lady’s hand, but for the lady’s hankerchief. She’s married already, you see. But he loves her from afar, he fights for her from afar—and that’s supposed to be noble. Noble,” Kira snorts, and takes another drag. “What do you think, Sara-chan?”

Sara doesn’t answer.
--

"viva la vida," coldplay (simoun, rodoreamon and floe)
never an honest word
“Maybe it’d be better if you tried… sewing it back up with matching buttons,” Rodoreamon suggests, chewing on her lip. Floe shakes her head and sighs, loud and exaggerated.

“It’s useless. Limone’s gonna kill me.”

“Don’t say that! I’m sure she’d… um, appreciate that you tried to fix it…” Rodoreamon trails helplessly, but then Floe wails (and she hopes that’s an exaggeration, too, but she’s not sure).

“You think we could buy her a new one once we get off this ship? You have to help,” cajoling, insistent, and Rodoreamon can’t do anything but nod.
--

"either way," guster (death note, matt and mello)
don't let me see that other side of you
Matt plays his video games while Mello rants. It’s like Wammy’s House all over again, a change of scenery but not a change of characters, a cheap soap opera redubbing the lines from the old episodes, tacking them onto the new.

“We’re going to beat Near, you know,” and Mello even sounds exactly the same as the fourteen year old who left, that determined, authoritative voice. That voice that had intimidated everyone from Wammy’s House teachers to hardened Mafia members. That voice that had issued the deaths of God knew how many people in the pursuit of Kira. Mello’s a real Machiavelli type regardless of his only half-lapsed Catholic roots—maybe because of them.

“Yeah.” Matt reaches over and hits continue on his remote.
--

"1985," bowling for soup (death note, matt and mello)
bruce springsteen, madonna, way before nirvana
“You look like Billy Idol. Only with worse hair.”

“And you look like the cover for Gamers Weekly.”

“I consider that an improvement.” Matt tilts his head. “Actually, no. You look more like Madonna without boobs. Like, for that one vid she did way back in the eighties when she was all into rosaries instead of Kabbalah or whatever it was…”

“Screw you,” Mello says. “Not even a welcome back?”

“Welcome back, Madonna.”
--

"u & ur hand," pink (angel sanctuary, vague... well)
you know when it's over before it begins
Setsuna was getting really tired of this.

Bad enough that he could only get turned on by his sister. Worse that one, she was dead, two, she was dead, three, despite that he was still a hormonal sixteen-year-old, and four, the walls in their latest empty building (Katou’d dubbed it hell’s version of a Motel Six) were depressingly thin.

“I can hear you in there, Mudo.”
--

"dancing in the dark," bruce springsteen (the long walk, garraty and mcvries)
there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
“Hey, Garraty, Garraty.”

Barkovitch again. Garraty tries to speed up but the sound continues.

“Garraty, Garraty.”

Not Barkovitch after all. Garraty slows slightly, embarrassed. It’s McVries.

“Gonna dance up that hill, Ray?” McVries is smiling, scar shining in the glow of the lamplight.

“Like Fred Astaire,” Garraty shoots back automatically. McVries laughs and pats his shoulder.

“Who’s your Ginger Rogers, then, huh? Can’t have Fred without Ginger. Bad show business.”

“Aw, McVries.”

“Who?”

“Jan,” he says. “When I get there.”
--

"people are strange," the doors (death note, misa)
no one remembers your name when you're strange
Misa understands insanity better than any model should.

Misa knows what it means, what it really means to have your face plastered on every fashion magazine in the country. What it entails is more than photoshoots and box-office returns, chipper interviews and chipping nail polish.

It’s a sell-off of the worst kind. She sells her name and sells her soul.
--

"new soul," yael naim (angel sanctuary, setsuna and kurai)
finding myself making every possible mistake
“This isn’t gonna be…” Setsuna searches for the right word, can’t find it, “tactless, is it?”

“How come you’re asking me?” Kurai blinks up at him. “I mean, it’s still really weird, you being in her body, but if you want to, uh, I don’t mind, it’s not like you’re… cutting her hair or anything…”

“That’s a good idea for later, actually!” Setsuna grins. “Be right back.”

Honestly, Kurai can’t help but think Alexiel—er, Setsuna, looks good in Calvin Klein jeans.

You've seen it all

2009-04-26T19:53:06Z

Yes, I am a hippie
40 years too late
Free love is repressed, there's nothing to protest
I'm an over-18 victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

;_________________________________________;

Putting Jimmy Buffett on my playlist always reaps tragic results.

I don't think I'm quite a hippie so much as just a decidedly '60's kid if you want to get technical, but whatever.

Safe in the knowledge that they've tried

2009-04-25T01:17:33Z

... This is why I shouldn't nap so much.

So at first the dream started off kind of okay. In the basement, this girl had a booth for selling back books for school. She said not to go to the seller on the first floor. I said okay and that I'd be back with some books in a minute and I go back to my room to see what I don't need for my finals.

And then somehow I end up meeting Diane Duane. Only she has this really freaky house with all these huge moving objects (like this keyboard that moved on its own to play and looked like a pendulum since it was up on its side) and a butler or something that was a robot. Also I think there was this black guy that was maybe her bodyguard? Anyway, one of them really didn't care for me too much. For whatever reason I'd brought my furoku collection (maybe I wanted to impress Diane Duane with it or... something). She keeps taking me through the rooms and when I'm not looking, the butler or the bodyguard slips some of Diane's stuff into my stuff. I'm about to walk out the door with it (or maybe I have already) when she says something about it being missing. ... And there it is in my hands.

By this point I'm not exactly me anyway since either Diane or the butler uses magic to turn me into a girl (.... I'M A GIRL ALREADY, ALL RIGHT. Dreams don't have to make sense). As upset as my parents are, they know it'll only last a couple days. I find the stuff and march over to Diane's and give it back to the butler, all "I know what you did now fix me." I... think Diane or someone apologized but someone somewhere was malevolent and wouldn't undo the genderswitch yet. So I walked out still with my stuff, and my college books which I'd gotten distracted from selling, and I start to head back to the dorm.

But instead of going straight back, I set my stuff on the bench and myself on the bench and start to try to sleep. It starts pouring down rain. My stuff starts sliding away from me. I grab at it and I get hit by this feeling that I knew this was going to happen. This theme music starts to play. I run in the rain with my stuff and... that's all I can remember. @_@

In other news, insomnia bites and my hair is getting all stringy/wavy again. ;_; I hate it when it does that. Half-Filipinos should not have wavy hair ajksgsd. I'm going to cut it as soon as I'm back home.

Like they said it would be

2009-04-22T21:25:45Z

I was writing a fic index late a couple nights ago, but stopped because it's more of a pain in the neck than I want to bother with, to dig up all the stuff on livejournal that's either a) not on here or b) has a highly altered (read: less disturbing) version on fanfiction.net. And a lot of it is pretty old (2005, 2006-ish). But I'll probably finish it up later on this week or something. I decided to go with my lame daydreamy style for that Sara fic instead of the more gritty one I tend to end up using... I haven't gotten far on the rewrite/actual write/what-have-you yet, though. But what's there is so painfully '90's that I almost expect someone to have a Beanie Baby hidden in their coat pocket. They're watching Star Wars at the movies (... I think they probably call it the cinema in Japan like they do, I dunno, almost everywhere but America, but I don't feel like getting that technical). Episode I.

;___________; My childhood.

Anyway. I'm going to have to do a thing on my personal writing process for Creative Writing to turn in, in lieu of a final (along with extreme revisions of everything I've done for that class). It'd... probably be in my best interests to start that over the weekend instead of finishing it the day it's due, but you know me. XP

Someone was really sweet on Monday about my poems for class. It meant an awful lot to me. And our presentation for Drama class today went really well! We had to perform one of the one-acts we researched and other than me messing up and reading one of someone else's lines, even that went off without much of a hitch. We exchanged thumbs-ups afterwards like dorks. Compared to the other people in my group my accent was the thickest so I ended up in the accented role. Not that I really minded. XD I'm glad it's over with, though.

I took some pictures of around the college after class. Much as I rant about it in general, the campus itself is beautiful in the spring like this. There are some azalea bushes and roses and stuff around LeConte Hall, but I was too lazy to go over there.

Embarrassing proof of how good I am at amassing junk. The good thing about this is it was all pretty cheap (most in the $3-$7 range, some of it was free). The bad thing about this is explaining come moving time what exactly I've used my dad's sheet protectors for.

Last night somebody heated something in the microwave that wasn't supposed to be heated (at twelve midnight), so the entire second floor smells like burned plastic. I thought it smelled like paint thinner at first, which goes to show how fried my sense of smell is...

Maybe just one more dance

2009-04-15T23:51:36Z

Caroline left at 3:30. I hope she had fun visiting, I bought her some ice-cream but unfortunately I lacked the foresight to realize that most of it would melt before I got back with it.

I'm listening to an old Twilight Zone episode, "Still Valley." It's one of my top ten favorites. But almost all the old episodes are worth at least one watch (with the exception of most of the humorous ones).

I needed to get in another cultural event for one of my classes, so I went unknowingly to this conservative thing with Bay Buchanan as the guest speaker. I didn't agree with all the positions presented, and politics in general is something I stay away from (I only read political magazines when I'm already in an irritated mood... despite my subscription) but it was interesting to go see, anyway.

I resisted the temptation to open up the prints and stickers and postcards. The realization that I'm almost out of stuff I actually want to collect in the AS fandom is depressing. Then again my coin, ceramic turtle, and stamp collections have been stagnating, so... XD I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Well, not about the collections but about moving back onto them...

I've got a couple things to do, all due on Friday at some point:

--write 5-7 page paper for Drama class (due Friday at midnight)
--write/memorize paragraph for Spanish class (need to do this by Friday morning)
--write about six non-free-verse poems for Creative Writing (due Friday at 2:00)
~~--finish my Stat homework (due Friday at 5:30)~~
--meet up with the people in my group for Drama (Friday at 2:30)

Unfortunately, I'd rather work on fanfics. XP I've got a couple of pages of this one Sara fanfic that's been lying around for months. The premise is such that it'd probably be best to do it in chapters, actually, and the sad fact of the matter is that I want to throw in characters that have absolutely no business being in the fic at all. And the other problem with the fic is that it's not just killing canon, it's strangling it with a telephone cord. Except in another way, it... isn't. XP I do write fics to prove a point, but honestly, I'm like everyone else, I mainly just want people to like what I write.

There's also a Death Note fic that's been on my mind for a couple months now, a Matt and Mello one-shot commentary. Don't worry, no romance!

Leave her where the guitars play

2009-04-13T22:26:54Z

Currently on Claritin, currently with a paper due, and currently with my little sister, who offered gems like this:

"Cool! They had these things in Spain, too! With the lights and numbers!"

at a crosswalk.

In fairness I had never experienced a crosswalk before going to UGA, either.

I HAVE THE ANGEL SANCTUARY ANGEL BOX!!! alsjkg lksadjf laks jfl alksjf asljfk faskjl fasjkl And the postcards and the seal set and the prints aren't even out of the original plastic sleeves, can you believe? I almost don't even want to open them! skjgsa Should I? jkasg kjfas I know it's so dorky but they're just too beautiful!

We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by

2009-04-11T05:33:42Z

I hate how whenever I end up with a sore throat, it's always only one side of it. I should probably just be glad it's only one side, but it's kind of weird. I don't know if Caroline's going to head to college with me over the weekend after all, if it's something contagious. I napped a ton and my voice is back to being essentially gone. Mama's scared it's strep, and to be honest, so am I at this point (although the lack of a fever probably makes the fear a bit null...), so unless it's better by tomorrow morning, she's taking me to the doctor. Since we all know how my excursions to the doctor on-campus go:

Doctor Sanford: I think.... you have a cold!

Me: *mentally* I think... I came up with that diagnosis on my own about a week ago! *out loud* I've had it for over a week and I haven't gotten any better at all and I seriously can't afford getting sick at this point in the semest--

Doctor Sanford: ... So did you come here wanting medicine. *rolls eyes* *makes You Are A Wimp face* Are you allergic to codeine.

Me: No.

Doctor Sanford: *to ~~the slave~~ the intern* Get her some codeine. Oh, and your chart says you need a tetanus shot update! Actually, you're overdue! LET'S DO IT WHILE YOU'RE HERE ~~and make this visit have a POINT~~!

Me: alkgjsk NO!!!

Not to mention the fact that I always get lost and end up on the wrong bus... yeah.

In other news, as usual, the house has changed since the last time I was here. My mom got bored and repainted the upstairs a different orange-ish color (she repaints every couple of months. At least.), changed all the photographs hanging on the walls going upstairs and in the basement (I was actually a cute kid in the photos of me she has up now, so I have no problem with this), and... changed our showerhead. Yup.

We watched half of Jesus of Nazareth earlier like we do every Easter, and we're going to the Easter Sunday services at the Catholic church again, like we do every Easter. I should've brought Ben-Hur from the dorms. I lugged back all the rest of my manga and Daddy said it was like I'd brought back the whole dorm. =(

Mother Nature on the run

2009-04-09T18:11:57Z

There were a couple of people sitting little table outside at the Tate Center a few days ago with a sign saying "Ask A Pagan." It made me want to sit out there with my own sign saying "Ask a Henotheist."

But I won't.

I'm still coughing, but it's... more productive coughs? I ended up giving it to my roommate somehow. I figure given another couple days and another pack of cough drops, I'll be okay. I've been sleeping much more than usual to attempt to counteract it all, maybe it's working. A lot of it's pure allergies, though. Gotta love pollen. XD

I listened to part of Conference earlier! I missed it over last weekend because I was sick, but they have recordings on the BYU broadcasting website and they're just very uplifting to hear. I know there are only a couple of Mormons on my f-list (and to be honest, I'm not entirely sure how many of you guys are still practicing askjgsd although I guess that's just not something you ask), but thus far I really loved Elder Uctdorf's talk from the Sunday morning session-- "ours is not a second-hand religion, we need to practice what we preach"-- it's advice I need to take. You can find all the sessions here (I'm hoping it'll allow me to link it.)

I'm going home tomorrow for Easter weekend! I'm looking forward to it an awful lot (Mama's cooking a ham and probably a pound cake, too), but not so much the week afterwards since I've got two five-page papers due almost as soon as I'm back. XP Ulk. Caroline's coming back with me for the whole sampling-the-college-lifestyle bit, but I'm afraid she'll be bored to tears with watching me type up junk the whole time...

1. Keywords: fiiighting evil by moonlight
--I always liked this icon 'cause Usagi looks so utterly =D-faced and happy. She's not my favorite SM character, but I'd like to be that =D-faced and happy.

2. Keywords: Rinko
--Rinko from Innocent W which is a gory horror manga. In the picture as a whole a little chibi version of Mahiro is like, making lovey-dovey eyes at Makoto or something to that effect and Rinko has a crush on Makoto. Hence her semi-anoyed expresion. I dunno. I always liked Rinko.

3. Keywords: silly nonconformists
--James Thurber quote! I made it because people that label themselves nonconformists or think nonconforming is absolutely the most awesome thing ever, make a big deal about being ~*~ANTI-MAINSTREAM~*~, etc., etc., whatever, drive me crazy.

4. Keywords: I kissed a corpse and I liked it~
--Kira kissed a corpse. And he liked it. =( This is canon. Pretty icon with disturbing keywords lifted from that song about lesbians. NEED I SAY MORE.

5. Keywords (for some reason I added a lot): she's not burned; she's just gone, KATOU IS A MORON WHO DESERVES BETTER, we need to start seeing other people
--I just really needed a Kira/Katou icon (plus I liked the coloring). And what better panel to show their undying affection than the panel right before Kira sucker punches him in the stomach. =(